Life is a Journey

Started with myself

2007-12-17T00:33:00.000+07:00

I should describe myself first. As I’ve told you, people not calling me Precious or Princess without any reason. Once, a friend of mine send me a message like this,

“Hi friend, please describe me in one word. And I will let you know what I think about you. Forward this message to your closest friends, you’ll be amazed to know what people think about you =) “

I replied her message, and then I forward that message to anyone that their opinions means a lot to me. And the replies are making me smile.
For some would being honest and say, “ Sleeping Princess. For once you fall asleep, it is so hard to wake you up =) “

The other would reply, “ Easy goers. Love to eat, love to sleep, love to laugh. “
But most of them are saying, “ Funny, naïve, kind hearted, lovely, cute, preety and chic. “

But if I should describe myself. I would say that I’m an easy going, friendly person. I’m very romantic but also very realistic. I’m having a good sense of humor, love to laugh a lot but I can cry easily. Very sensitive but can be very stubborn in the same time. Love to make friends with a lot of people but it’s very hard for me to tied myself in a serious commitment. I used to look people in the eyes while I’m talking with them, and examining them in my mind. I can be very sweet and very sarcarsm when I want to. One of my adding point which also my negative is I always try to please everybody. It’s so hard for me to say no. If somebody treated me nice, I’ll treat them even nicer.

If there's any regret in my life.. it's all back to one reason. Almost all the problems in my life occured because of my inability to say NO to others especially to my dearest one.

I am what people called as Asian Type. Instead of making others worry or mad.. i'd rather do the things that people told me to do or expect me to do.. even tough it's not what i really wanna do.

For example, back to my school days. After graduate from Junior High School, I'm planning to study in Goverment High School for most of my friends study there and it's a good school too. But my dad insist that i should study to a private school for the location is near from my house. Eventough if i mention the name of the school.. none would recognise the place. They said," Ha, where is it? "

But, as a good child I just obey it. And a year has past. It's time to choose what major do I want to sign in. I choose Biology coz i'm good in remembering things but bad in mathematics ( i hate maths, really do.. For me, if you can count with calculator.. no need to dizzy your self with mathematics =P ). The class has started for 2 weeks, when one day my dad came to my school and all of the sudden the principal told me to pack my things and move to social class.

What? I didnt say a thing at that time. But wyning a lil bit at home for a while. After a week or so.. i just try to accept it and move on.

Same thing happened again when i graduate from High School and planning to continue my study in university. Got scholarship from a non famous university but i turned it down.

I'm planning to study as a fashion designer. Looking information about it. Join the test and pass the test. And then i spoke with my dad about my dream being a fashion designer. His answer is a straight NO. He said, he wants me to study in economics. Being an accountant. Coz it would be easier to find a job if i study in Accounting and Finance. I've try to give my reason, that i'm suck in mathematics. I hate numbers ( Except for numbers more than 6 digits in my savings hehehe ).

I get mad inside but once again, i'm just to weak to say NO to him and stay on my decision. So, i just kind of let it flow. I join the test, i pass it, and for the next four years i study in a University majoring in management. Learning things that to be honest can't be applied in real life and in real job.

Serious Talks

2007-12-04T00:20:00.000+07:00

But for my life. I cannot just do that. Fast forward or skip it. When I’m dealing with a problem, I just have to face it day by day tough it seems like forever ‘till I’ve finally be able to get out of that problem or I be able to compromize with that problem. Chinese proverbs says, “ If you cannot deal your problem, try to live peacefully with it. “

There are so many things that I never be able to understand why it has to happened, and sometimes after a few moments and I look back to that moment. I’m so amazed by the way God has helped me to get out from trial by trial.

And especially I’m amazed by the way God works in me to create who I really am now. Sometimes I feel so weak in so many things, but turns out I’m also strong in many things.

These last few years, my world has been turning upside down by God. I have to faces so many trials. Perhaps, He just loves me too much and He wants me to deal with so many wrong things in myself and in my life that’s not correct in His eyes. Just like a branch of a vine. To re-grow the fruit from the branches, you have to cut it first.

Monolog

2007-12-03T23:44:00.000+07:00

Sometimes I do feel that my life is like a tv series that never ends like that old tv series that I used to watch when I was a kid and up till now the story still continues like Bold and Beautiful. By the way, this movie is so darn bored, can’t please the producer make other series rather than wasting money to make a tv story that people never watch again?

Back to my life. Back to the first sentence, hehe… Sometimes I do feel that my life Is like a long tv series, that I and other people who watched it cannot fast forward or rewind the movie. Like it or not, we have to watch episode by episode, tough we’re so curious to find out how the ending will be.

And I’m the type of person that never had enough patience for things like these. If I watch a movie in DVD, I will fast forward the movie couple of times till the movie is finish. And worse for the tv series. I prefer to buy and watch it in DVDs for I will only watch a few early episodes and then I will skip it and I go straight watch the final episode without I never know what so ever happened in the middle of the movie =D

The same thing happened when i read a book. I love reading. I read everything that has letters on it. But for books, I have some exceptions. Usually I will read a few chapters in the beginning of the book, and then “BUM” I will skip it right to the last chapter. If I like the ending ( usually I love happy ending, exception for some books like Sister of My Heart by Chitra Banerjee or books written by Paulo Coelho ). Continue my story, if I like the ending, I will continue to read the book from where I leave it and read page by page ‘till I reach the epilog. But if I don’t like the ending of the story, I will only going to read the book a few chapters in the beginning and the last chapter of that book. And I will never touch that book again.. unless I really desperate cannot sleep and no more books left to be read. Haha I’m so weird, but that’s me.